Duo 2/1
by Miniryu
Summary: Severe and on-purpose OOC. ^_^! Wufei's going to train at some famous place... And all is Ok,,, Until Heero is shaking pom-poms and talking gangsta talk... ^_^;;! Quatre can't even get a hello from Trowa and Duo seems to be having some problems... Plus Re
1. Default Chapter Title

Ah... Just a GW take on Ranma. If you want a list of the parts, see the bottom...

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DUO 2/1 : PART ONE...

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by Mini,

In dedication to Sharyna for her birthday. ^_^!!

Happy B-day!! ^_^!! *Megahuggie-doos!!*

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"Aw, come on, Wu! ^_-! Ya gotta let us come!" Duo insisted, bouncing over and slapping Wufei on the back.

"Absolutely not, Maxwell! It is a sacred training grounds, and you cannot come! *Wufei Glare of Mutual Stupidity*"

"But Wuuuuuuu-chan!!" Duo pouted, big violet eyes quadrupling in size.

Quatre walked over and smiled. His eyes also quadrupled in size and he batted his lashes, "Pweeease?"

After getting no response, both boys' eyes continued growing in size until Wufei could stand it no longer.

"FINE!!! Just stop that thing with the eyes!!! It's just not *right*!!"

~*~

"*What*?" Heero looked up from his computer.

"Wu said he'd let us come to that legendary training are thingy. ^_-! Cool, huh?" Duo gave the stoic pilot a cheesy grin and a slap on the ass.

"*Death Glare* Omae o kor--mmphmph..."

~*~

"Friend Trowa...! We're going!!" Quatre jumped into his friend's arms.

Or at least he was supposed to.

*Thud!*

"Ow..." Trowa looked stoically down at the fallen Quatre. Quatre frowned. "Trowa! You were supposed to catch me!!"

"..."

"I think I twisted my ankle... Carry me? *eyes quadruple in size* Pweeeease?"

"..."

*click*

"TROWA!!! Don't LEAVE!!" Quatre wailed and pushed himself up. Trowa would be his. He just needed to remind him. He sighed, "But the eyes *always* work... UU;;..."

~*~

After many hours packing and many attempts of bitch-slapping each other into submission on the plane, the G-Boys finally arrive at the legendary...

"Shit, Wufei! This is just a bunch of sticks and ponds!! Aw, this is sooo *not* cool..."

"You may think that, Maxwell, but this place is..." Wufei took a good look around. He nodded, "Sticks and ponds. Hey... _;;!! This is no--NANI?!?" he exclaimed as he felt someone tapping him. Wufei whirled around to see a short man.

Duo smiled gleefully and said, "Dude!! 'S a midget!! Bad ass, man!!"

*crickets*

"Er... ^^;;;" Duo put his one arm behind his head and sweatdropped.

Quatre in the meantime, was chibified and hugging Trowa's legs, which kept trying to kick him off. Heero watched the whole scene and reloaded a rocket launcher he pulled from his pants, chanting 'ninmu' and swatting the occasional fly.

"Ninmu... *smack!!* Ninmu... *smack!!* ...Ninmuuu...!!"

**MEGASMACK!!!!**

"*snort* Ninmu... Ninmu... Ninmu..."

Duo sweatdropped again and walked over to a pond, looking down at his reflection.

The midget looked up at Wufei. After about two minutes of only hearing Heero's droning, Wufei snorted and jumped onto a stick above a pond.

"Nin... Hn," Heero snorted, and did likewise. Suddenly, the world was filled with evil and a shout rang out through the land.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ro!"

"No **shit**!" Duo blinked. It could only be one thing. It was...

Many voices...

More Specifically, the voices or Dorothy, Sally Po and Zechs. And of course, Relena.

IT WAS BACK.

Heero jumped to the far end of the many ponds' poles and glared down at the four.

Relena was dragging her poor brother behind her while Sally and Dorothy sweatdropped.

BACK FOR **BLOOD**.

Relena smiled and jumped right up onto a pole, hopping and hoping to get to Heero. Duo suddenly started twitching and jumped up after her. Soon, the entire party was on the poles.

Just as Relena was about to close in on Heero, Duo used his braid to catch her leg and make her fall. Of course, Duo hadn't thought that **he** might fall.

"AAAAAAAAH!!!!" came the cry as the two landed in their own, separate ponds. Also not thinking, Heero looked down and lost his balance, tumbling down... But not after throwing a bomb into Relena's pond. The vibrations knocked them all into the waters.

Relena was the first to come up. She glared and held a chainsaw in her hands as she rose from the water, looking quite fierce in her combat boots. With her, she held a bag...

BACK WITH... ***_Gophers_***???

Sure enough, she had a bag of gophers, and was pulling them out and slicing through them.

"BLOOD!! I crave it!"

Duo came up, spluttering. Then, Duo came up. ...One... Two...? No *shit*!

"Shit!" the two Duos hissed.

"Hey, you look like me!" the first one said, cocking his head to the side.

"I'm *dead* sexy! Wow! Look at me!" the other continued. They immediately began splashing each other.

"Staaaaapit!!"

"No, you staaapit!!"

They chorused together-- two extremely jumpy Duos.

"Take *this*!" the second pulled on the first's bangs.

"Take *THIS!*" the first pulled a bucket of ricotta cheese from out of the blue and shoved a fist-full into the other's face.

"No **shit**!" the second said in astonishment, "My face is covered in odd looking white shit!"

They both looked at each other and smiled in ecstasy [yes, you heard me] until their faces cracked.

"Kewwwwl."

"Bloooooooood!!"

"Shut up, bitch!" came a voice.

Relena's chainsaw stopped buzzing and the three looked up at what they thought was Heero.

"'At's Right. WASSSSSSSSUP!!!" Heero yelled, his pink pom-poms up and his shades down, "Wassup, homies!!!"

The midget only shook his head.

O.O;;;;;!!! **_WAAAARG!!!!_**

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End Part One. ^_-!

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P A R T S ! ! !

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Heero | Cheerleading Homie Brother Heero with Over-Inflated Libido

Wufei | Helium-Breathing Wu-chan, the Fog-Horn Eating Goat

Duo | Two Singing Duos on Caffeine with a Bucket of Ricotta Cheese

Trowa | Miracle Grow Contortionist Trowa on Sugar High

Quatre | 'Pissy Uchuu no Kokoro' Quatre with Squeez Cheez

Relena | Chainsaw Relena in Combat Boots with a Bag of Gophers

Dorothy | Miracle Grow Bowser with a Wicked Saxophone

Sally Po| Magical Disco Sally Po with Platforms and B52's Hits

Zechs | Magical Singing Goose-Fairy on Crack 

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	2. Default Chapter Title

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Duo 2/1!

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Part Two...

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"Heero?"

"Heero?"

The two Duos were thoroughly confused. Then at once, the terror begun.

****

The two Duos burst into song.

"Oh, Heero, how he holds his pom-poms right!" sang the first Duo.

"Oh, how I long to spend the night..."

"With yooooooooou..." they both finished.

Relena sweatdropped and Heero stared in shock.

"Yo, man! What's with the singing shit???"

The two Duos could not contain themselves.

"Ohhhh... Heeeerooo! How we love you so!" sang the second.

"But I think Quatre would rather screw Tro..." 

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" the both chorused.

Relena ran right out the the water, screaming until she was back in her hotel.

Quatre chose that time to come up.

"WHAAAAAAT?!?!!?" Quatre came up in leather bondage with something in his hands... It was... "Bastard!!" came his 'Pissy Uchuu no Kokoro' voice.

"Aaaaah, ruuun for your liiiife! For Quatre has..." The second Duo hid behind the first.

"Squeeeeez Cheeeee-eeeeeeeeeeez..."

Pissy Uchuu no Kokoro Quatre then chased the Duos out of the pond area. He turned around and looked for Trowa.

"Trowa? Trowa! You're pissing my uchuu no kokoro off again! _!"

After looking around, Quatre saw a bang poking up out of the water.

"No *shit*, man!" said Heero, scratching his... *cough*

Quatre grabbed the bang and pulled. And pulled. And pulled. He was now up to 10 feet of bang...

"Dammit, why can't you have NORMAL hair?!?" screeched Pissy Uchuu no Kokoro Quatre. Finally, a head poked out and the rest of Trowa followed.

Trowa had his one leg over his head and kept making cracking noises.

"Yeah!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!" Trowa bounced around, bang hitting Quatre in the face.

"Hey!! You could poke someone's eye out with that thing!"

"Whoo-hoo!!!! YEEEEEAH!!" Trowa's eye was wide, and he jumped on the dry area, doing a split as he landed, "Yeah! I'm a CONTORTIONIST! I ROCK!!!"

Wufei had popped up, but every time he had opened his goat mouth, a fog-horn rang out, very shrilly. ...Don't ask.

"DUUUUUUUDE!!" screeched the now sugar-high contortionist, "Wu-chan!!" he ran up and hugged the poor goat. Wu-chan attempted to scream, but got a fog-horn instead. After much trying, he managed to say something.

"Kisama!!" came the helium-induced voice, "Get off me!"

Suddenly, music began to play...

__

"Well if ya see a faded sign at the side of the road, that says 15 miles to the..."

****

"LOVE SHAAACK!!!" came three voices.

Magical Disco Sally Po let out a howl and began groovin', her 5" platforms kicking up in the air, oblivious to the fact that she was still halfway under water.

Zechs, in the meantime, hovered in the air, with a goose hat and a pink tutu to boot.

"Laalaalaa~!" came the fairy-ish voice as he fluttered, "Doot-doot-doo...!"

"Warg!" another voice went, and all turned to see Bowser.

MIRACLE GROW BOWSER.

With a SAXOPHONE.

"Warg!" Bowser's weird, large forked brows seems to wiggle, and Magical Disco Sally Po pulled out a rocket launcher.

"Hey, sista!! Don't be pulling my shit, ya see? I kill ya!" Heero growled, pom-poms waving menacingly in the air.

"WAAAARG!!!" Bowser continued, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Haaaayllooooo..." said what we think is Zechs, "Eet ees I, Milli-chan-doo!"

"WARG," said Bowser, getting irritated.

It took a few minutes for everyone to realize that Dorothy was 'missing'.

"She must be dead, man!" said Magical Disco Sally Po, her hair beginning to frizz up.

"Warg..." Miracle Grow Bowser sighed.

"Haaaaaaaaaayllooooo..." Zechs said while floating, big eyes sparkling, "We have treeeeeebute!" His mystical fairy aura was glowing and his hands twitched like claws on 'tribute'.

"Right on!!"

"Yeah, and all that respective shit!" Homie Heero, "'S all good w'me."

Wu-chan made and fog-horn noise and Pissy Uchuu no Kokoro Quatre sprayed squeez cheez on Trowa's bang, gravely upsetting the sugar-high boy.

The midget sighed and poured hot water on Miracle Grow Bowser, who changed into Dorothy.

"KILL!!" Dorothy repeated as she throttled him.

"Nooo~ohhh... Weee make happ-eeeee!!" Zechs's fairy aura glowed and he twirled around and did a Mario-style "Wah-hah!" while dislodging Dorothy from the midget.

And then the midget spoke, "Ooh... Very bad. You see, this place for all the curse that no make Ranma 1/2 series. That," he pointed to Heero's pond, "is pond of drowned Cheerleader Homie Brother, who said to have Over-inflated Libido."

Heero snorted and shook his pom-poms menacingly

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End Part Two. ^_-!

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